“One time, one time, a house alarm on the street went off for four days solid and I nearly threw myself out the window in despair. But those days, I look at those days as the ‘good old days’ now. Halcyon times, a rainbow over the roof, me with a lollipop, guided to the front door by moonbeams and fairies who scatter rose petals in my path as I go.”

Paines Plough invited playwrights from across the UK to write (and perform) monologues about their home towns, the cities that shaped them.

[MORE INFORMATION AND DOWNLOAD THE APP TO LISTEN]

• Paines Plough’s James Grieve and George Perrin interview in The Guardian
• My BLOG POST about why I chose to write what I did and the experience.